Lessons to be learned from Soccer
I started playing soccer at high school. I think that I initially began playing because my high school’s First XI included the girls who I saw as strong, fit young women who were balancing their academic pursuits with a team sport (a great qualification for scholarships). The girls in the team had a lot of respect for each other, and their camaraderie was heart warming. I also thought the uniform was pretty cool…and of course it was a popular sport with the boy’s high school across the fence.
I had never played a game of soccer before in my life, although it’s hard to grow up in New Zealand without having kicked a ball around at one time or another, but I figured that as long as I could propel a ball vaguely in the direction I desired, I would be fine. Although I didn’t know the rules of the game (beyond that scoring goals for your team was advantageous, and that not knowing which goal was yours was frowned upon), I was determined to be considered competent enough for First XI selection. I believed that I was good enough, and I was right. I made the First XI team after only one try-out!
Here-in lies the first lesson:
Set your goals – Believe and you will achieve.I had a goal (even though I didn’t know the rules, or how that goal would manifest), I believed that the abilities I had would get me to where I wanted to be. I was clear on my why, my reasons to play. I took action to set the ball in motion (so to speak), and to the best of my ability I WAS a soccer player.
Although I had no conscious concept of my actions and results at the time, lesson #1 is a vital step on the path to achieving what you want in life. Lots of people set goals, but they are not clear enough on why it is that they want what they want. Then doubt starts to creep in especially if they don’t know the rules (or HOW they are going to achieve their goals). Finally, there is of course, the gigantic belief component. Self belief comes first; you need to have some degree of self belief in order to achieve your goals, the more the better. Building your self belief should be a daily process, Affirmations are a great way to facilitate this (an affirmation exercise involves the repetition of short, positive and uplifting phrases, designed to program the subconscious, and ultimately improve your self belief on a conscious and sub conscious level). Louise Hay, author of the brilliant and inspiring self improvement book You Can Heal Your Life, is a true affirmations guru. Her book and new movie holds my favorite explanations and demonstrations of the use of affirmation on a daily basis.
After a whirlwind year on my school First XI soccer team, I stopped playing during my time at university, and started again with a provincial soccer club in Christchurch after I had graduated. This is my second year with the Cashmere Soccer Team, and I am enjoying soccer more than ever (although these days it’s much more about the exercise and camaraderie, than any boys high schools in the area!). However, now that I have become a student of personal development over the last year, I am able to see the easy manifestation of personal development lessons in soccer.
My team has a range of women of all sorts of ages, backgrounds and fitness abilities, and despite our differences in skill, I can say that I truly appreciate the unique abilities that each player contributes to the team. Our team is also blessed with one of the best coaches of women’s soccer in New Zealand. A true leader, our coach NEVER ceases to see the ability in all of us, and he constantly encourages us to strive for greater heights, in just such a way that makes us want to really try. Because our coach encourages us to practice and improve our area’s of strength, when we play as a team, we know who we can rely on to deliver on a particular skill set, whether that be running fast, tackling the ball, or scoring goals.
Lesson # 2:
Ability AppreciationEverybody has a range of skills or abilities in which they excel. Unfortunately so much of our education system (and I speak of the social education system as well at the academic one) teaches us to focus on the improvement of the skills which are lacking. It is extremely refreshing to take the attitude that you can focus on improving the things you are good at, and let others be good at the things you aren’t so good at. The greatest aspect of this lesson for me is that I have learned to truly appreciate the abilities of others, and maybe most importantly of all, I am beginning to respect and see the potential in those who surround me. This concept has huge implications for application in day to day life. Start expecting to see the potential of others, and be proud of your abilities. Above all, there is always room within our skill-sets for improvement (otherwise I would be playing soccer alongside David Beckham), so never stop looking for new and improved ways of extending yourself.
For those of you who don’t know, soccer is a winter sport, an OUTDOORS winter sport, an early Sunday morning, outdoors, winter sport. I have played soccer on ground so icy hard that my spiked boots cannot gain traction. I have played soccer wearing hats, gloves and jackets while the rain and wind beats down. I have also played soccer when the ground is so wet that the ball floats. Sometimes, during those games, when I am exhausted and bruised, I can be forgiven for thinking that being curled up in bed with a hot chocolate might be more desirable. But mostly, even when it hurts and its cold, I would never consider giving up. This isn’t due to some blind desire to get cold or injured (even though I think my partner quietly suspects this may be the case), but for two completely different reasons. One, I really enjoy the freedom of enjoying exercise that is a work out for my brain as well as my butt, and two, I secretly enjoy playing in spectacularly foul conditions: I feel as though I am starring in a rather dramatic Nike commercial.
Because I get so much enjoyment and benefit out of the whole overall soccer experience, I have the integrity to stick it out in the tough (and even painful) times. I turn up early on a Sunday morning to play, I attend practices to up-skill, and I practice on my own to keep my fitness up. I cannot possibly pretend that I enjoy all of the aspects involved in playing soccer, but I do those things anyway and I do them every week, because I know that without practice and training, I won’t enjoy the game.
This is Lesson #3:
Persistence and Integrity Gets ResultsYou have to take the kind of consistent action that will get you the results you want in life, you must have the integrity to yourself to take that action every day if you want to improve. Sometimes taking action is pleasing, sometimes it’s uncomfortable, but you HAVE to practice the pleasing, as well as the uncomfortable in order to get the result you are looking for. For me, my integrity with practicing my soccer skills and my integrity of training to improve my fitness are a great reminder for me to practice and improve my skills in other areas of my life.
In the words of Moist Von Lipwig, from Terry Pratchetts Going Postal (a fictional work with some interesting insights into personal development)
“you can’t treat it [Life] as a sort of buffet, can you?, I mean, you can’t say, ‘yes please I’d like some of the paradise and a helping of the divine plan, but go easy on the practicing, and none of this integrity stuff, it gives me wind’, its table d’hote, or nothing…otherwise, well, it would be silly wouldn’t it.”John Lavenia’s fantastic book Integrity is Everything goes into great detail about the necessity of living with integrity if you what to achieve any results above average. Lavenia’s words illuminated the concepts of persistence and integrity for me, and I realised how I had already demonstrated to myself, my ability to hold true to my purpose in soccer, making it easier for me to apply that experience to the rest of my life!
And finally: as I grow older and can draw more on my wisdom from my last 22 years, I have also begun to appreciate the wisdom and knowledge that others are able to impart to me. I surprised myself recently at practice, (when I was pulled aside by my coach and told that I would have better control of the ball, by handling it differently) instead of making an excuse about why that was too hard, or that I preferred my way, or instead of feeling resentful that I was being told I could improve, I said “yeah, that is something I really want to improve on, I will have to practice”. I hadn’t expected myself to react in that way, and I got a whole new perspective on appreciating the guidance of those who are already experts at something I want to be good at.
I don’t know about everyone else, but in the past I have often struggled to accept the guidance of others as anything other than criticism (even when it was me that sought the guidance in the first place), so it was a really big deal to me to actually be able to take on board what was being said, instead of trying to justify myself.
Lesson #4:
Practice with the Pros and Appreciate the Lesson.Find people who have mastered the skills you are aiming to improve, train with them or alongside them (or read their writings, watch their movies and listen to what they have to say). You don’t have to apply every aspect of a role-model’s being, just the aspects that you want to model your improvement on. Once you have found some inspiration, appreciate the lessons they have to teach, and acknowledge their success in those areas. Until you can be open to learning, even the best teachers in the world cannot assist you. This I think is the most powerful lesson that I have learned from soccer.
Being able to use soccer as a metaphorical realisation of the skills I am learning to apply to all areas of my life has been an immensely powerful process for me. I have proven to myself that I am capable of using these principles to get results, which makes it easy to apply these principles to the area’s that are in the process of improvement.
Successful people agree that if you want to improve, you must continually up-skill. Many of the aspiring people see that as a daunting task, but if you can find examples in your life where you:
• Set Your Goals and Believe You Can Achieve them by getting clear on your why
• Appreciate your own abilities and feel free to develop your strengths
• Have the integrity to be persistent in your development
• Practice with high achievers and appreciate all they have to teach
And you got results; you will be living proof to yourself that you CAN apply these principles to any area and get the results you want.
As my soccer coach says:
“Good players always anticipate that the ball will come to them,
When you anticipate the ball, you are automatically acknowledging that you are the player that can take affirmative action.
You don’t have to know what that action is, just anticipate that the ball will come to you, then when it does, you will know exactly what to do with it”.
Here end-th the lesson.
If you are interested in learning more about these principles and more about how you can apply them to YOUR life, check out my website www.WorkWithTheSecret.com
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